White Gourd Tea

Date Purchased:
Oct 2003
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Ingredients
Water, Sugar, White Gourd, Flavour(yesterdays underwear?), Caramel
Rating: 2/10

Reviewed By: Shane (unfortunately)

Who the hell made this? Damn you Vitalon! What sock-chewer was walking along one day, saw those gourd things growing and though, 'gee, if we grind that up, it'll make great tea!'. With any luck that person died a horrible, painful death involving spoons.
Its made of gourd people! Gourd! You carve them and make them into cheap bowls or brightly painted smiling people to sell to tourists. This drink had been my greatest challenge yet, and my biggest failure. That's right. This drink was so disgusting I just couldn't bear to drink it all. I felt a little vindicated after trialling it on other people and seeing the horrified looks on their faces. Sorry to the people whose innocence and wonder I stripped away.
So, what does white gourd tea taste like. The answer? Who knows. The best I can tell you is that it tastes like white gourd (also known as wax gourd). Nothing else in the world tastes like that and thank God. This is what Satan serves in hell to welcome new arrivals. I repent!