Date Purchased: 2004
Purchased from: Adelaide
Rating: 6/10
Reviewed by: Shane (drunk by Anthony)

Pineapple with young coconut. Or coconut with young pineapple, one of the two. This thing about this drink is that Anthony will drink young coconut and anything then tell you it was the greatest drink ever in the history of drinks. His review goes a little like this: it was great, pineapply and with coconut! Excellent!

I assume he meant something like 8 or 9 out of 10 but I knocked it down to 6 because all he reviews are coconut drinks, plus i'm a bastard and I felt like it.

Date Purchased: 2004
Purchased from: Burlington
Rating: 8/10
Reviewed by: Shane

You know what's great? Aloe drinks. Why don't more westerners drink aloe drinks, I wonder? That smooth, velvety texture; the range of flavours; the agreeable price - how can you not be attracted to this beverage? Well it's easy; the majority of fat, burger eating westerners are addicted to processed sugars and caramel colorings - while the minority lack wit greenies will drink, eat and snort anything that isn't 'mainstream'. While this may include aloe it's only because no-one else drinks it. To make things worse, once 'alternatives' grasp something in their work-shy hands it becomes unattractive to the rest of society through some weird auto-stigma that latches onto anything they find cool. Except beads. Fucking beads. Or gourds painted to look like people.

Anyhow, until we can buy Coke Aloe with Lime, I think this very inoffensive and enjoyable drink is destined for a lonely existence. Well, amongst westerners anyway. Why is it that most of our drinks suck? A question for a future post.

Hey Song

Date Purchased: 2004

Purchased from: Any Chinatown. In this case, Fortitude Valley.

Rating: 8.5/10

Reviewed by: Shane

It's imported Sarspa-fucking-rilla, hooray, and pretty good too. It's a touch soft, without the bite of some harder core sarsparilla, but who gives a shit. Easy to drink, refreshing, tasty; everything a good drink should be. Now fuck off.

Anything

Date Purchased: 2007
Purchased from: Singapore (to be precise :D)
Rating: 7/10
Reviewed by: Shane

Tastes like lemonade. My sister grabbed this and another similar while she was in Singapore. I think the other one was called Whatever; but I appear to have misplaced it. Apparently each can has a different flavour taken from a pool of 3 or different flavours, so next time you ask a mate what he wants to drink and he replies 'Anything', give him Anything.

Blue Japanese Drink

It is a Japanese soft drink that resembles 'lemonade' though it is a bright blue color.

It has a funky bottle that is sealed with a glass marble, half the fun is trying to open the bottle, the marble is then trapped inside the bottle but you need to drink from it in a certain way so that the marble stays stuck between two dimples inside the bottle or else it closes up again.

The drink tastes good probably because it is sooo sickly sweet, probably not a drink for diabetics or people that have an intolerance to sugar.

Editors note: Or those with an intolerance to the color blue. Warning, may contain nuts.

Purchased: 2007

Reviewed by: Andre

Do Do Lemon Water

Date Purchased:
June 2004
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Rating:
7.5/10
Reviewed By:
Shane

Even more enjoyable than Do Do Apple, this light tasting drink is recommended for those moments when bland refreshment is required.

White Gourd Tea

Date Purchased:
Oct 2003
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Ingredients
Water, Sugar, White Gourd, Flavour(yesterdays underwear?), Caramel
Rating: 2/10

Reviewed By: Shane (unfortunately)

Who the hell made this? Damn you Vitalon! What sock-chewer was walking along one day, saw those gourd things growing and though, 'gee, if we grind that up, it'll make great tea!'. With any luck that person died a horrible, painful death involving spoons.
Its made of gourd people! Gourd! You carve them and make them into cheap bowls or brightly painted smiling people to sell to tourists. This drink had been my greatest challenge yet, and my biggest failure. That's right. This drink was so disgusting I just couldn't bear to drink it all. I felt a little vindicated after trialling it on other people and seeing the horrified looks on their faces. Sorry to the people whose innocence and wonder I stripped away.
So, what does white gourd tea taste like. The answer? Who knows. The best I can tell you is that it tastes like white gourd (also known as wax gourd). Nothing else in the world tastes like that and thank God. This is what Satan serves in hell to welcome new arrivals. I repent!

Do Do Apple Water

Date Purchased:
September 2003
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Ingredients
Apple, Water
Rating: 7/10
Reviewed By: Shane

Good, refreshing, light on the apple taste and heavy on the water taste. As with all watery drinks in this category, I'm a little hesitant about where the water came from. I have bad memories about DoDo, but don't let this turn you off, the memories are from my sampling of white gourd tea, which I purchased at the same time and drank first. DoDo came to the rescue and helped wash away the dregs of horror that other 'drink' left behind. Give it a go.

Demi Soda Apple

Date Purchased:
April 2004
Purchased From:
Burlington
Ingredients
Unknown
Synopsis
This is a stock standard fake apple flavour with that tangy carbonated tang. Nothing special.
Rating:
7/10


Reviewed By:
Shane

Coconut Fibre (Nata De Coco)

Date Purchased:
March 2005
Purchased From:
Adelaide Chinatown
Synopsis
Ok this was the bomb! I'm not sure it can really be called a drink. It has liquid in it but the true joy of this is is the jellied coconut pulp. If you've ever had a Bubble Tea with jelly then this is the type of jelly that's in it. The jelly is coconut and it's sweet, chewy and tastes like coconut. Secondly it comes with a spoon too another reason why you may not consider this a drink. This is an excellent something to do munchy food as you can chew on the bits for a couple of minutes kind of like bubble gum. Now you can drink the sweet coconut flavored liquid but you'll probably be on the walls as it's pretty sweet. Either way I loved this stuff. 9/10!!! .
Rating:
9/10


Reviewed By:
Anthony

De De Coconut Juice (Jus de Coco)

Date Purchased:
March 2005
Purchased From:
Adelaide Chinatown
Synopsis
This was a coconut juice drink. The liquid clear and there is cubed coconut pulp floating within it. I’m a pretty big fan of coconut juice so this already had the thumbs up for me. It does taste like coconut juice, maybe a tad on the sweet side due to the added sugar but overall not bad at all.If you don’t like bits in your drink you may want to use a strainer because there’s enough in there that you can’t avoid them.I give this drink a 7/10 for the coconutty goodness and quite a reasonable attempt at a coconut drink.
Rating:
7/10


Reviewed By:
Anthony

Young Coconut Juice with Pulp

Date Purchased:
February 2004
Purchased From:
Oshin
Ingredients
Young coconut juice, water, young coconut pulp, sugar
Synopsis
Good. Yaaaaa. Like.
(drinks of world would like to apologise for the short and, to be honest, crap review. Nat is a man of few words and small underwear. We encourage you to seek the advice of a third party before selecting this beverage. Thank you.)
Rating:
8/10


Reviewed By:
Nat

Champagne Soda

Date Purchased:
January 2004
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Ingredients
Soda Water, Frustose, Citric Acid, Malic Acid, Caramel Flavour
Synopsis
After some initial trepidation and joking around I opened Champagne Soda, looking forward to a quiet afternoon at work being mildly poleaxed and smiling at everyone with a glazed look. Imagine my dismay when it turned out to be non-alcoholic. Ah well. It tasted good. That fake grape flavour, sweet and slightly fizzy too.
Rating:
8/10


Reviewed By:
Shane

Cali ICE - Sparkling Apple

Date Purchased:
18 Aug 2004
Purchased From:
Best Friends - Phillipine Supermarket
Synopsis
Blargh
Rating:
5/10


Reviewed By:
Shane

BonBon

Date Purchased:
September 2003
Purchased From:
Dodgy little joint down Brunswick St
Ingredients
Er....grapes I guess
Synopsis
BonBon makes me pause whenever I go to review it. On one hand it has that great grape taste and a good refreshment factor. On the other hand it has floaty, squishy grapes in it that leap into your mouth and make you gag. They're not too bad, but it makes for an interesting texture to the drink. I enjoyed it to a certain extent but I doubt i'll buy another one.
Rating:
6/10


Reviewed By:
Shane

Apple Sidra

Date Purchased:
October 2003
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Ingredients
-
Synopsis
Quite a good effort at apple cider, sweet with a little bit of a bite or tang to it. I enjoyed it, but there's somthing that's stopped me from buying it again.
Rating:
7.5/10


Reviewed By:
Shane

A & W Root Beer

Date Purchased:
August 2004
Purchased From:
Burlington Supermarket
Synopsis
The frosty mug taste may be gone but the drink remains almost as goods as the original frosty mug tasting version of several years ago. Like a cross between creaming soda and sarsaparilla. A superior beverage worthy of world status.
Rating:
8.5/10 (bring back the frosty mug taste and will be a 9)


Reviewed By:
Judd

2% refreshing water: Lemon

Date Purchased:
September 2003
Purchased From:
Some little shop on Brunswick Street
Ingredients
Unknown. Probably water and lemon.
Synopsis
Fairly tasteless, literally it's just a can of water with a very faint aftertaste of lemon. All in all it seems quite unoffensive, my problem with this drink is not knowing where they can the water. Is it carefully prepared in a monastery by only the most holy of monks, or just a can of water from some tap in a Hanoi chop house? You have been warned.
Rating:
6.5/10 - Refreshing, but it IS just a can of water.


Reviewed By:
Shane

Best before...

Well that clears up any ambiguity

Pagoda - Roast Chicken and Garlic noodles

Don't buy it. Horrible.

I threw the packaging away in a fit of anger, pain and embarassment.

0/10

Lo Han Kua

Powered beverage with other stuff in it, as purchased by AMM in Adelaide.

He likes it.I had it once in the form of a little cube, like a stock cube. It tasted like dirt so either AMM has terrible taste or his version has a little something extra. Like cocaine or MSG.

Spicy Chicken Noodles

Spicy chicken flavoured rice noodles consisting of rick stick noodles and two flavour sachets. One is a brown paste smelling of chicken sheds and old straw and the other is basically MSG with pepper in it.

To prepare I added two cups of boiling water to a bowl and dumped the noodles in it. Placed this in the microwave for 2 minutes then stirred in the sachets and zapped it again for 30 seconds.

It smells wierd, kind of like the fake chicken flavours in western food but more organic and slightly unpleasant. The flavor was strong with elements of fake chicken and cardamom. There's a hint of spice that may be pepper, may be chilli but is most likely to be chicken herpes.

5/10 not recommended, though the rice noodles themselves were of a good consistency.

Cheap Fantastic Noodles

Xtra Saucy Noodles from Fantastic.
Sold in a range of flavours:
* Sweet Chilli Chicken
* Beef
* Roast Chicken
* Satay something
...and from memory there is at least one more flavour.
All are packed with MSG and other flavour enhancers. As a quick snack I recommend the Beef or Chilli Chicken with their strong flavours and thicker than usual sauce. Roast chicken was bland so unless you enjoy your food a little dull avoid it.
7/10 for being cheap and edible.

Beaming!

Beaming, the sparkling eye enhancer. I had such a twinkle in my eye after drinking this that the wife put on an extra pair of pants and my dog hid under his couch all night. Ah well, at least I was free to practice my wrist exercises.

Down to the review. Smells like water, tastes like bitter flowers and has an unpleasant after-taste that reminded me of Iron Buddah tea.

Not recommended. 4/10

Chinese Cream Cake

I couldn't resist a packet of cream cakes for 99c.

Sadly, they tasted like they'd been dipped in brandy and the cream was hard with a nutty after-taste.

Please note the above expiry date. Today is the 15th June 06. Only 3 weeks expired!

Thai Red Bull

Ah...

The classic, the one, the only.

Thai Red Bull.90% sugar, 9% testicle and 1% liquid.

The perfect blend of syrupy goodness, non-refreshment and unknown stimulant.Sometimes it gives you a big buzz while other times it does nothing but push up your blood sugar.

Kratindeang tastes a little like western Red Bull with the main differences being a thicker consistency and no carbonation.Also available in bottle form, Kratindaeng's not recommended for diabetics.

I give it 9/10, Edmond says 7/10.

Do Do Apple Water

I know these reviews have been a little dull but this and Dalandan were from my archives and I really can't remember them that well.Do Do starts out thin, brings little to the table, then sneaks off with your silver cutlery leaving a weak watery taste.If by apple they mean water then this tastes just like apple.

I say 6/10. It's refreshing. Like water.

Bottom Line: Use a tap and save you money.

Tru Dalandan

I can't remember what this tasted like. Here's a picture and a snappy tune to sing.

Dalandan,

I'm a fan.

You make me feel,

More like a man!

A funky taste,

Like kitty paste.

Bring your drinks,

To myyy place!

Bottom Line: Buy it and see.

Fanta Lactic

I had Fanta Lactic a long time ago. If you've had milk sidra or a similar carbonated milk drink you'll know what I'm talking about.
Fizzy, tangy, a slight citrus taste. Thats Fanta Lactic. I know it sounds terrible but it really works quite well.
8/10
Bottom Line: Recommended if you can get over the carbonated milk stigma.

Red Bull Extra

It's Red Bull from Hong Kong in a silver can. Although I enjoyed the beverage I couldn't detect much of a difference when compared to normal, or garden variety Red Bull.
You probably won't find it outside of Hong Kong or maybe Europe. A friend brought this back from a trip to South East Asia about 18 months ago so my memoriesof it are a bit vague.
7/10 for being nothing special even though it's foreign.
Bottom Line: Give it a go if you like Red Bull. It's just Red Bull.

Iron Buddah

Iron Buddah is apparently a seperate type of tea bush(no species is supplied on the box so lets call it teaus averageii), charcoal fired and stored in old warehouses for 3 years to really bring out the flavour.
It is dark in liquor, heavy on the palate and leaves an unpleasant taste in the mouth.
We drank it with a little sugar and no milk.
Edmond gives it 3/10. I was generous with a 5/10.
Bottom line: Not terrible but I can't bring myself to recommend it either.